Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
