he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
