Porn is love you can see.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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