No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
