If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
