We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize