Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
My Higher Power is John Stamos
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
