i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize