My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
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