come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
