My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
