so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize