Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
