this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
