is your mom at the bar?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
is wine microwaveable?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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