2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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