We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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