Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
