I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
