Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
