everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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