I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
