I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
