we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
