I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
it's like heaven, but drunker
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
