Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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