I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
