he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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