is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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