it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
