Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
