No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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