So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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