no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
