so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
