omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
