I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
