I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
