New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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