Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
