the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize