Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
