his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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