He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
