Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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