I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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