Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
