my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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