we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
