I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
