you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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