ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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