im holly from the hills drunk
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
