I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Just puked most of my soul out..
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
