I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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