So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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