I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
