Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
