I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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