ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
