Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
