Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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