did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize