Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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