So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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