some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
