where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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