he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
