found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
