Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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