when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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