Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
