I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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