i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
